Written by: his co-writer(AlbertMedia CoWriter)
Dedicated to:
Ibong Adarna (i really saw one yesterday)
Prince of New England
Princess of Wales
All kinds of birds
Man's pet bird
for Ibong Adarna book that are not published through a safety process
for those Ibong Adarna books that are not completely related to the story
Abraham Lincoln's statue (don't dare to put him with magical water)
Statues in museums (worst behavior as you compare it to the movie "Night At The Museum" and it occurs at daytime also.)
and...
human wastes.
20th century films...
albertmedia productions.
Bahnay's Taco's...
Starring...
Warren as Juaren
Yeti as Yeti
'Zel as PatPat
BahNay as Himself
Gongy as Himself
Vader as Himself
Jeyd. as Jeddaii
Cookie as Maria Christina
Bahnay's Taco's...
Starring...
Warren as Juaren
Yeti as Yeti
'Zel as PatPat
BahNay as Himself
Gongy as Himself
Vader as Himself
Jeyd. as Jeddaii
Cookie as Maria Christina
from the crew who brought you "HE'S KAZZY FOR YOU"
and
"ADAM'S APPLE"
presents...
...
Ibong Tocino...
...
Ibong Tocino...
Once upon a time. In a town called Pampangan, lived a prince.
He was a smart prince. A noble, brave man, called by the name of...
Don Juaren.
Don Juaren: Ano nanaman ba to!!! EEEEeeee... Ako nanaman!
Albertmediacowriter: Ayaw mo yun? Actor ka nanaman.
Don Juaren: pssh...
Our story begins when Don Juaren and his two elder brothers, Don Yeti and Don Patpat
( walang aangal... )
Haring BahNay: WOIEI! *cough cough* Mga alagad ko... Mamamatay na akoouuuu... *cough cough*
Don Yeti: *whisper* eh di mamatay ka...
Don PatPat: *whisper* o nga... parang loko loko tong si Juaren. Gusto pa maghanap nang gamot.
Don Juaren: AYYY!!! oh eto! mag alaxan ka, eto advil, eto pa decolgen, eto pang diatabs. damihan mo nang diatabs. mukha mo parang... kailangan na din nang diatabs.
Haring BahNay: Anong kinalaman NuuUUNNN *cough cough*
Doctor sa health service: Kailangan nya nang mahiwagang gamot. Ung kanta nang Ibong Tocino!
The Three Dons: WHOOAAAHHH!!!
Don Yeti: *whisper* bat tayo nag react?
Don PatPat: *whisper* tayo una lol!
Haring BahNay: Ikaaaawwww.... iiYyeettiII!!! Why you stand there??? Youuuu get the Tocino!
Don Yeti: Ampf... oo na.
and Don Yeti traveled the jungle. The jungle here and there. High and Low. Left and Right. Up and Down. Then, he saw the tree... The tree of sparkling leaves. The tree where the tocino lives.
* Tung turugtung. Tung Turugtung. Tung Turugtung. Tutututung. Tururururururutungtutung *
Don Yeti: Uyyy! Ice cream! asan na yun? asan?
* ssploik. *
Don Yeti: oh? ano to? Vanilla from heaven? what???
And then... Yeti turned into stone. after 3 months.
Haring BahNay: uhhh... Yeti did not go back. You! Patpat! You get it!
Don Patpat: EEEeeee... si Juaren muna!!!
Haring BahNay: NOOO! YOOOOUUUUU PIRST!!!!
Don Patpat: Takte...
And Don Patpat traveled the jungle. then he also saw the tree...
* YOOUUU!!! DRAPTING BOY AP IN THIS HOE! WHY ME LINE AND WHY ME GO! WHY ME DRAPT THAT PAPER BOY *
Don Patpat: San galing yun? *looks at the branch* WHOI! ITS A BIRD!
*sploik.*
Don Patpat: Pucha... Yeeewww... ano to???
And Patpat turned to stone.
Haring BahNay: UuuussseeeeLLeeeessss!!! Whoi! Juaren! youuu... youuu get tocino.
Don Juaren: Opo. Meron pa ba kayong ibang request?
Haring BahNay: Uhh... Get me C4. Cheese flavor.
Don Juaren: Opo. * thinking * takte... san ako makakakuha nun? gawagawa lang neto yun ehh!
Haring BahNay: PASTER!!! GO GO! THE BOTH OF YOU! TAKE MY HORSE!
Don Juaren: kabayo? OK!
and Juaren rode Haring BahNay's fastest horse Gongiiiee. and they went to the tree. but a street beggar jumps in front of them.
Don Juaren: Whoiei! TABE! takte...
Beggar: uhhhmmm... par. pahingi naman dyan nang bread! yeah men! bread!
Don Juaren: tinapay? bread? *tingin sa bag* swerte mo beggar! may breead pa ako! *bato sa beggar yubg tinapay*
Beggar: YUN OHH! THANK YOU! Oh eto! *bigay magazine*
Don Juaren: Ano to? *tingin sa magazine* BOLD TO AHH!!!
Beggar: basahin mo! maganda yan!
Don Juaren: Masyado pa akong bata para dito! sheet! * sabay tago sa bag *
Beggar: Sus! Pasimple ka pa! tinago mo nga sa bag mo ehh!
Don Juaren: Hindi no! Gongiieee TAKBO!!!
Beggar: Pasimple ka! lowl!
and during nights, Juaren reads it to keep him "entertained"
bastos...
And then... Juaren saw it. The Tree...
* chocolate! a choco choco! *
Don Juaren: teka... nabasa ko to ahh. *tingin sa magazine nyang BOLD* Ayun!
tips on getting the ibong tocino.
1.) when hearing music in the jungle, that is the bird. avoid the music at all costs. listen to your Ipod.
Don Juaren: Swerte! Dala ko Ipod ko. *kinig Ipod* YOU GOTTA SNAP LIKE THIS LIKE A DRAFTING BOY!
2.) wait until the bird stops singing. then get the bird and put it in your cage. and you have now captured the Tocino. Well done.
Don Juaren: ganun lang... teka. ano tong note?
* look below the tree. those rocks might be your brothers. try wetting these rocks.
Don Juaren: Ganun? naiihi na rin ako ehh cge. * sabay ihi *
Don PatPat: Tang... hoi! bat mo kami inihian?!?!?!
Don Juaren: sabi nang magazine ehh!
Don Yeti: Nagbobold ka na rin ahh! Patay ka sakin!
and the elder brothers stole Gongiieee, Tocino and gave Juaren Arm Burns and punches. Juaren who is WEAK! drops to the floor. almost dead.
Don Juaren: Awwwchhh... Kamay kooo!!!
*beggar walks by*
Beggar: uy! ikaw yung binigyan ko nang bold!
Don Juaren: Tulungan mo ko! Kailangan ko nang tulong!
Beggar: ahh teka ahh... hawakan mo kamay ko.
Don Juaren: HINDI AKO BAKLA NO!
Beggar: Tangengot! Hawakan mo nalang. Boots of Travel!
Don Juaren: Boots?!?!?!
*Teleport*
Beggar: Welcome to my crib!
Don Juaren: WHAT?!?!? Mas malaki pa ang bahay mo kesa sa palasyo namen! What going on!?!
Beggar: Syempre! World Class Beggar to no! Dyan ka muna sa Jacuzzi ko. Relax! Have Starbuko Ice Drop!
Don Juaren: Sige Ba!
*Relax sa Jacuzzi*
Beggar: alam mo Juaren. bibigyan kita nang gold. bumili ka nga nang TP mo.
Don Juaren: TP? ano yun?
Beggar: Ampf... TP. Town Portal...
Don Juaren: san naman ako makakakuha nun?
Beggar: dun oh! sa shop.
Shopkeeper: Can I Help You?
Don Juaren: TP nga.
*tchung.*
Don Juaren: san na?
Shopkeeper: nasa bag mo...
Don Juaren: o eto ba---
Shopkeeper: asa akin na. wag ka magalala. akong bahala. *wink*
Don Juaren: *thinking* takte... bakla ata to ahh...
Shopkeeper: Take care Juaren! MUAH!
Don Juaren: *thinking* sheeet! tatakbo na ako!!!
*takbo*
Beggar: Bumili ka na?
Don Juaren: oo. eto na.
Beggar: gamitin mo.
Don Juaren: pano???
Beggar: Ezekiel! Ezekiel!
Don Juaren: Ezekiel? *looks back* ano yun?
*chungchungchung*
Don Juaren: Ano yun??? Ano??? asan na yun? Ezekiel? diba tinuro sakin yun?
*flashback*
Kiddie Pen: and the scroll was sweet. that is the symbol of DOTA's love for Juaren.
*-----*Don Juaren: yun pala yung tinuro sakin ni kiddie pen... matamis kaya talaga to?
*eats the scroll*
Don Juaren: Takte! Lasang lead nang HB pencil! Pwe! Pweh!
*chungchungchung*
at Pampangan Palace...
Don Yeti: Haring BahNay! Eto ohh! Tocino mo!
Don PatPat: takte... para lang dyan naglakbay tayo nang ganun ka layo?!?!?
Haring BahNay: Shat Ap! ShhhhH!!! good gongiieee. good gongiieee. want a carrot?
gongiieee: eeeeeeehhhheeeeheeeehhheeeee.
Haring BahNay: Good boy. Who's my gongiieee? Who's my gongiieee?
Don PatPat: *whisper* bakla talaga...
Don Yeti: *whisper* to the max...
Ibong Tocino: Haring BahNay. Hindi ang dalawang yan ang humuli sakin. Si Don Juaren ang humuli sakin.
Haring BahNay: uhhh... Who get you Birdie?
Don Yeti: *whisper* kinakausap nya birdie nya... wahahaha...
Don PatPat: *whisper* autistic... amp...
Don Juaren: Tocino ko!!!
Haring BahNay: JUAREN!!!
*YouuU!!! Solder boy up in this HOE!!!*
and everyone went to sleep... then Don Yeti and Don PatPat woke,
Don Yeti: *whisper* whoi! kakairita yung ibon... palayain natin.
Don PatPat: *whisper* oo nga. Laos na kanta nang ibong yan.
and the elders freed tocino. and tocino flew. the birdie fly fly away.
Don Yeti: JUAREN!!!
Don Juaren: *YAAAWWWnNN!* O ano?
Don PatPat: tara punta tayo sa balon!
Don Yeti: O nga! Balon!
Don Juaren: Ano naman gagawin natin sa balon?
Don Yeti: uhhh... uhhmmm...
Don PatPat: magswiswimming! bakit?
Don Juaren: Tara! Ang init ehh! Teka... swimming?
Don Yeti: Bakit??? Angal?!?
Don Juaren: indi indi!
Don PatPat: Tara! ambagal naman!
and the three went to the well.
Don Juaren: Nice! Swimming na tayo!
Don Yeti: Tara! Mauna ka na!
Don Juaren: Geh Geh... Whoooo!!!
And Juaren went down... doooowwnnn.... DOOOOOWWWWNNNN... BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!
Don Juaren: Aray! Wala naman palang Tubig to! Uuyy... Sino yun?
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Tulong!!! Saklolo!!!
Don Juaren: Prinsesa ba yun? Hintay! Papunta na ako!
Higante: Hindi ka makakalapit sakanya!!!
Don Juaren: NYIII!!!! Higante!!!
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Eto! Lightsaber!
Don Juaren: Lightsaber?
Higante: Lightsaber?
*zzziiinnnggg*
Don Juaren: Niiiicccceee...
Higante: NYYYIIII!!! LIGHTSABER!!! EEEEEEEEEKKKK!!! *takbo parang bakla.*
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Salamat! Tulungan mo kong bumaba...
Don Juaren: Hintayin mo ko. aakyat ako dyan.
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Sirain mo nalang yung pintuan. nakakadena ehh...
Don Juaren: teka... bat di mo ginamit lightsaber mo?
O.o ...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: O nga no... bahala na.
Don Juaren: Tara. Balik na tayo...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: teka... May serpyente pa ata at isa pang torre doon.
Don Juaren: Pabayaan mo na yun... Tinatamad na ako ehh!!!
and the 2 walked to the entrance
Don Juaren: Mga Kapatid!!! magbato kayo nang tale! may prinsesa dito!
Don Yeti: Prinsesa? sa balon???
Don PatPat: Bato mo na! Bilis!
Don Juaren: Mauna ka na Prinsesa
Prinsesa Jeddaii: salamat... *goes up*
Don PatPat: Munting Prinsesa! Tulungan na kita!
Prinsesa Jeddaii: uhh... thanks... :">
Ayyyyiiiieeee.... PDA....
Don Yeti: Teka. may nahulog ata yung prinsesa...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Sing-sing ko!!! nako... may blade panaman yun...
Don PatPat: blade?
Don Juaren: Aray!!! nasaksak ako!!! Naputol pa yung tali!!!
Don Yeti: Wahahah!!! lol!
Don Juaren: ahhh!!! daming dugo!!! *faint*
Don Yeti: Anong nangyari dun? Teka... Anong nangyari kay pats? *looks at pats*
Don PatPat: Magandang Prinsesa... Ako'y pumapayag sa pagalok mo sakin sa pagkasal.
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Di naman kita inaalok na magpakasal ahh... *whisper* iniisip... pero di pa...
Don PatPat: Ay... Hindi ba? Kasi Gusto ko nang magpakasal na tayo ehh...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: :"> ako din...
Naks...
Don Yeti: tara. balik na tayo sa palasyo. para mabilis.
Don PatPat: Tara.
And the 3 left for the palace. Again, The beggar walked by Don Juaren.
Beggar: whoi! gising!
Don Juaren: andaming dugo... uhhhgggg...
Beggar: Teka. eto puno. kain ka.
Don Juaren: ugghhh.... Kadiri ka...
Beggar: Kumain ka nalang! Peste!
Don Juaren: oo na... *eats a tree* pwe... pwee... lasang pencil!
Beggar: mahilig ka din sa pencil ahh! oh. ano? pahiya ka?
Don Juaren: oo na!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Tuuulllooonngg!!!
Don Juaren: antaas nun ahh... teka... sino yun?
Beggar: yun ohh! bobo...
Don Juaren: Tutulungan kita Prinsesa!
Serpyente: ppppssss.... ppsss.... di ka makakalapit ps.....
Don Juaren: Tabi! UUOOODDDD!!!
Serpyente: Ansakit mo naman magsalita!!! *tampo* *takbo*
bakla parin amp...
Don Juaren: Prinsesa... Kay tagal kong hinanap ang isang kasing ganda mo...
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Don Juaren... Kausapin mo tatay ko kung ganyan ka...
Don Juaren: Ahh.. Cge munting Prinsesa. *whisper* aray...
And the 2 went to the princess' palace. Teka... Asan na yung agila??? Ano?!?! di kaya nang budget??? amp...
Don Juaren: ang layo!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Magtiis ka... hmmpp.
Don Juaren: *whisper* aray ko po...
And they arrived...
Haring Roberto: ahhh... Ang aking Prinsesa!
Don Juaren: Ikaw ang tatay?!?!?!?
Haring Roberto: Hindi no! Babysitter ako!
Don Juaren: amp...
Haring Roberto: Ano ang ginagawa mo dito prinsipe? bat ka napaparoon sa palasyong aking binababysit?
Don Juaren: uhhhmmm... kasi... ehh... parang... uhhmm...
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Gusto nya akong ligawan!!!
Haring Roberto: Ano?!?! hindi maaari! kailangan dumaan ka sa truth or dare bago mo pakasalan ang prinsesa.
Don Juaren: Truth or dare??? di ba pwedeng di gawin yan?
Haring Roberto: Kailangan gawin to! ayon sa batas! ang batas ay batas! ang baba ay baba!
Don Juaren: Baba?
Prinsesa Maria Christina: baba?
Haring Roberto: Baba!
o.O ... san galing yun?
Don Juaren: Cge! Handa ako!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: sasamahan kita! *whisper* sarap pagtawanan to...
Haring Roberto: Mabuti! ang unang choice... Truth or dare?
Don Juaren: uhhmmm... Truth?
Haring Roberto: May crush ka ba sa kabayo nang Haring BahNay?
Don Juaren: Hindi no!!!
Haring Roberto: sigurado ka? *squeezed fingers*
Don Juaren: aray!!! awww!!!
Haring Roberto: 1,2,3
Don Juaren: Aray!!! :'
Haring Roberto: 6,7
Don Juaren: AAAAWwWWW!!! T_T
Haring Roberto: 10! Magaling...
Don Juaren: AAWWW! :((
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Wahahah!!! =))
Haring Roberto: Ikalawa... Truth or dare?
Don Juaren: Dare! Dare!
Haring Roberto: Sige!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Gawin mo... *whisper* pssss.pss.spps.pss
Haring Roberto: Magandang idea! Mag sexy dance ka sa harap nang palasyo! tapos isigaw mo Pampangan's Best!
Don Juaren: EEEEEeeee.... Ano banaman yan!!! ampf!
Haring Roberto: Gagawin mo! kundi! ikaw ay aking ipapatay!!!
Don Juaren: ANO?!?!?! Wala sa pinagusapan natin yun!
Haring Roberto: LOL!
Don Juaren: amp... sasayaw na...
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Wahahahahahahahhahahahhahahha!!! =)) ^_^ ((=
Haring Roberto: Magaling! Magaling!
Don Juaren: Tama na!!! ayoko na!!!
Haring Roberto: Hindi! Last... samahan mo ko sa mga pinto.
Don Juaren: Pinto? ano yun?
Haring Roberto: sa loob nang isa sa tatlong yan ay ang Prinsesa. sa dalawa... TAPSilog.
Don Juaren: eeewww.. :-&
Haring Roberto: think wisely... boy...
Don Juaren: pano ba to... ano bang gagawin ko para malaman to? alam ko na!!!
Haring Roberto: anong gagawin mo ngayon? ha? :p
Don Juaren: Lightsaber!!! *zing zing*
Prinsesa Maria Christina: :(( nahanap ako!!!
Don Juaren: YES! TSAMBA!
Haring Roberto: Hindi ka makakatakas! bumalik ka dito!
Don Juaren: LOL! :P
Beggar: Par! bat tumatakbo ka?
Don Juaren: hinahabol ako nung babysitter!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: k cubed m to the fifteenth power!
Beggar: Ano???
Don Juaren: Ewan... :x <3>
He was a smart prince. A noble, brave man, called by the name of...
Don Juaren.
Don Juaren: Ano nanaman ba to!!! EEEEeeee... Ako nanaman!
Albertmediacowriter: Ayaw mo yun? Actor ka nanaman.
Don Juaren: pssh...
Our story begins when Don Juaren and his two elder brothers, Don Yeti and Don Patpat
( walang aangal... )
Haring BahNay: WOIEI! *cough cough* Mga alagad ko... Mamamatay na akoouuuu... *cough cough*
Don Yeti: *whisper* eh di mamatay ka...
Don PatPat: *whisper* o nga... parang loko loko tong si Juaren. Gusto pa maghanap nang gamot.
Don Juaren: AYYY!!! oh eto! mag alaxan ka, eto advil, eto pa decolgen, eto pang diatabs. damihan mo nang diatabs. mukha mo parang... kailangan na din nang diatabs.
Haring BahNay: Anong kinalaman NuuUUNNN *cough cough*
Doctor sa health service: Kailangan nya nang mahiwagang gamot. Ung kanta nang Ibong Tocino!
The Three Dons: WHOOAAAHHH!!!
Don Yeti: *whisper* bat tayo nag react?
Don PatPat: *whisper* tayo una lol!
Haring BahNay: Ikaaaawwww.... iiYyeettiII!!! Why you stand there??? Youuuu get the Tocino!
Don Yeti: Ampf... oo na.
and Don Yeti traveled the jungle. The jungle here and there. High and Low. Left and Right. Up and Down. Then, he saw the tree... The tree of sparkling leaves. The tree where the tocino lives.
* Tung turugtung. Tung Turugtung. Tung Turugtung. Tutututung. Tururururururutungtutung *
Don Yeti: Uyyy! Ice cream! asan na yun? asan?
* ssploik. *
Don Yeti: oh? ano to? Vanilla from heaven? what???
And then... Yeti turned into stone. after 3 months.
Haring BahNay: uhhh... Yeti did not go back. You! Patpat! You get it!
Don Patpat: EEEeeee... si Juaren muna!!!
Haring BahNay: NOOO! YOOOOUUUUU PIRST!!!!
Don Patpat: Takte...
And Don Patpat traveled the jungle. then he also saw the tree...
* YOOUUU!!! DRAPTING BOY AP IN THIS HOE! WHY ME LINE AND WHY ME GO! WHY ME DRAPT THAT PAPER BOY *
Don Patpat: San galing yun? *looks at the branch* WHOI! ITS A BIRD!
*sploik.*
Don Patpat: Pucha... Yeeewww... ano to???
And Patpat turned to stone.
Haring BahNay: UuuussseeeeLLeeeessss!!! Whoi! Juaren! youuu... youuu get tocino.
Don Juaren: Opo. Meron pa ba kayong ibang request?
Haring BahNay: Uhh... Get me C4. Cheese flavor.
Don Juaren: Opo. * thinking * takte... san ako makakakuha nun? gawagawa lang neto yun ehh!
Haring BahNay: PASTER!!! GO GO! THE BOTH OF YOU! TAKE MY HORSE!
Don Juaren: kabayo? OK!
and Juaren rode Haring BahNay's fastest horse Gongiiiee. and they went to the tree. but a street beggar jumps in front of them.
Don Juaren: Whoiei! TABE! takte...
Beggar: uhhhmmm... par. pahingi naman dyan nang bread! yeah men! bread!
Don Juaren: tinapay? bread? *tingin sa bag* swerte mo beggar! may breead pa ako! *bato sa beggar yubg tinapay*
Beggar: YUN OHH! THANK YOU! Oh eto! *bigay magazine*
Don Juaren: Ano to? *tingin sa magazine* BOLD TO AHH!!!
Beggar: basahin mo! maganda yan!
Don Juaren: Masyado pa akong bata para dito! sheet! * sabay tago sa bag *
Beggar: Sus! Pasimple ka pa! tinago mo nga sa bag mo ehh!
Don Juaren: Hindi no! Gongiieee TAKBO!!!
Beggar: Pasimple ka! lowl!
and during nights, Juaren reads it to keep him "entertained"
bastos...
And then... Juaren saw it. The Tree...
* chocolate! a choco choco! *
Don Juaren: teka... nabasa ko to ahh. *tingin sa magazine nyang BOLD* Ayun!
tips on getting the ibong tocino.
1.) when hearing music in the jungle, that is the bird. avoid the music at all costs. listen to your Ipod.
Don Juaren: Swerte! Dala ko Ipod ko. *kinig Ipod* YOU GOTTA SNAP LIKE THIS LIKE A DRAFTING BOY!
2.) wait until the bird stops singing. then get the bird and put it in your cage. and you have now captured the Tocino. Well done.
Don Juaren: ganun lang... teka. ano tong note?
* look below the tree. those rocks might be your brothers. try wetting these rocks.
Don Juaren: Ganun? naiihi na rin ako ehh cge. * sabay ihi *
Don PatPat: Tang... hoi! bat mo kami inihian?!?!?!
Don Juaren: sabi nang magazine ehh!
Don Yeti: Nagbobold ka na rin ahh! Patay ka sakin!
and the elder brothers stole Gongiieee, Tocino and gave Juaren Arm Burns and punches. Juaren who is WEAK! drops to the floor. almost dead.
Don Juaren: Awwwchhh... Kamay kooo!!!
*beggar walks by*
Beggar: uy! ikaw yung binigyan ko nang bold!
Don Juaren: Tulungan mo ko! Kailangan ko nang tulong!
Beggar: ahh teka ahh... hawakan mo kamay ko.
Don Juaren: HINDI AKO BAKLA NO!
Beggar: Tangengot! Hawakan mo nalang. Boots of Travel!
Don Juaren: Boots?!?!?!
*Teleport*
Beggar: Welcome to my crib!
Don Juaren: WHAT?!?!? Mas malaki pa ang bahay mo kesa sa palasyo namen! What going on!?!
Beggar: Syempre! World Class Beggar to no! Dyan ka muna sa Jacuzzi ko. Relax! Have Starbuko Ice Drop!
Don Juaren: Sige Ba!
*Relax sa Jacuzzi*
Beggar: alam mo Juaren. bibigyan kita nang gold. bumili ka nga nang TP mo.
Don Juaren: TP? ano yun?
Beggar: Ampf... TP. Town Portal...
Don Juaren: san naman ako makakakuha nun?
Beggar: dun oh! sa shop.
Shopkeeper: Can I Help You?
Don Juaren: TP nga.
*tchung.*
Don Juaren: san na?
Shopkeeper: nasa bag mo...
Don Juaren: o eto ba---
Shopkeeper: asa akin na. wag ka magalala. akong bahala. *wink*
Don Juaren: *thinking* takte... bakla ata to ahh...
Shopkeeper: Take care Juaren! MUAH!
Don Juaren: *thinking* sheeet! tatakbo na ako!!!
*takbo*
Beggar: Bumili ka na?
Don Juaren: oo. eto na.
Beggar: gamitin mo.
Don Juaren: pano???
Beggar: Ezekiel! Ezekiel!
Don Juaren: Ezekiel? *looks back* ano yun?
*chungchungchung*
Don Juaren: Ano yun??? Ano??? asan na yun? Ezekiel? diba tinuro sakin yun?
*flashback*
Kiddie Pen: and the scroll was sweet. that is the symbol of DOTA's love for Juaren.
*-----*Don Juaren: yun pala yung tinuro sakin ni kiddie pen... matamis kaya talaga to?
*eats the scroll*
Don Juaren: Takte! Lasang lead nang HB pencil! Pwe! Pweh!
*chungchungchung*
at Pampangan Palace...
Don Yeti: Haring BahNay! Eto ohh! Tocino mo!
Don PatPat: takte... para lang dyan naglakbay tayo nang ganun ka layo?!?!?
Haring BahNay: Shat Ap! ShhhhH!!! good gongiieee. good gongiieee. want a carrot?
gongiieee: eeeeeeehhhheeeeheeeehhheeeee.
Haring BahNay: Good boy. Who's my gongiieee? Who's my gongiieee?
Don PatPat: *whisper* bakla talaga...
Don Yeti: *whisper* to the max...
Ibong Tocino: Haring BahNay. Hindi ang dalawang yan ang humuli sakin. Si Don Juaren ang humuli sakin.
Haring BahNay: uhhh... Who get you Birdie?
Don Yeti: *whisper* kinakausap nya birdie nya... wahahaha...
Don PatPat: *whisper* autistic... amp...
Don Juaren: Tocino ko!!!
Haring BahNay: JUAREN!!!
*YouuU!!! Solder boy up in this HOE!!!*
and everyone went to sleep... then Don Yeti and Don PatPat woke,
Don Yeti: *whisper* whoi! kakairita yung ibon... palayain natin.
Don PatPat: *whisper* oo nga. Laos na kanta nang ibong yan.
and the elders freed tocino. and tocino flew. the birdie fly fly away.
Don Yeti: JUAREN!!!
Don Juaren: *YAAAWWWnNN!* O ano?
Don PatPat: tara punta tayo sa balon!
Don Yeti: O nga! Balon!
Don Juaren: Ano naman gagawin natin sa balon?
Don Yeti: uhhh... uhhmmm...
Don PatPat: magswiswimming! bakit?
Don Juaren: Tara! Ang init ehh! Teka... swimming?
Don Yeti: Bakit??? Angal?!?
Don Juaren: indi indi!
Don PatPat: Tara! ambagal naman!
and the three went to the well.
Don Juaren: Nice! Swimming na tayo!
Don Yeti: Tara! Mauna ka na!
Don Juaren: Geh Geh... Whoooo!!!
And Juaren went down... doooowwnnn.... DOOOOOWWWWNNNN... BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!
Don Juaren: Aray! Wala naman palang Tubig to! Uuyy... Sino yun?
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Tulong!!! Saklolo!!!
Don Juaren: Prinsesa ba yun? Hintay! Papunta na ako!
Higante: Hindi ka makakalapit sakanya!!!
Don Juaren: NYIII!!!! Higante!!!
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Eto! Lightsaber!
Don Juaren: Lightsaber?
Higante: Lightsaber?
*zzziiinnnggg*
Don Juaren: Niiiicccceee...
Higante: NYYYIIII!!! LIGHTSABER!!! EEEEEEEEEKKKK!!! *takbo parang bakla.*
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Salamat! Tulungan mo kong bumaba...
Don Juaren: Hintayin mo ko. aakyat ako dyan.
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Sirain mo nalang yung pintuan. nakakadena ehh...
Don Juaren: teka... bat di mo ginamit lightsaber mo?
O.o ...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: O nga no... bahala na.
Don Juaren: Tara. Balik na tayo...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: teka... May serpyente pa ata at isa pang torre doon.
Don Juaren: Pabayaan mo na yun... Tinatamad na ako ehh!!!
and the 2 walked to the entrance
Don Juaren: Mga Kapatid!!! magbato kayo nang tale! may prinsesa dito!
Don Yeti: Prinsesa? sa balon???
Don PatPat: Bato mo na! Bilis!
Don Juaren: Mauna ka na Prinsesa
Prinsesa Jeddaii: salamat... *goes up*
Don PatPat: Munting Prinsesa! Tulungan na kita!
Prinsesa Jeddaii: uhh... thanks... :">
Ayyyyiiiieeee.... PDA....
Don Yeti: Teka. may nahulog ata yung prinsesa...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Sing-sing ko!!! nako... may blade panaman yun...
Don PatPat: blade?
Don Juaren: Aray!!! nasaksak ako!!! Naputol pa yung tali!!!
Don Yeti: Wahahah!!! lol!
Don Juaren: ahhh!!! daming dugo!!! *faint*
Don Yeti: Anong nangyari dun? Teka... Anong nangyari kay pats? *looks at pats*
Don PatPat: Magandang Prinsesa... Ako'y pumapayag sa pagalok mo sakin sa pagkasal.
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Di naman kita inaalok na magpakasal ahh... *whisper* iniisip... pero di pa...
Don PatPat: Ay... Hindi ba? Kasi Gusto ko nang magpakasal na tayo ehh...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: :"> ako din...
Naks...
Don Yeti: tara. balik na tayo sa palasyo. para mabilis.
Don PatPat: Tara.
And the 3 left for the palace. Again, The beggar walked by Don Juaren.
Beggar: whoi! gising!
Don Juaren: andaming dugo... uhhhgggg...
Beggar: Teka. eto puno. kain ka.
Don Juaren: ugghhh.... Kadiri ka...
Beggar: Kumain ka nalang! Peste!
Don Juaren: oo na... *eats a tree* pwe... pwee... lasang pencil!
Beggar: mahilig ka din sa pencil ahh! oh. ano? pahiya ka?
Don Juaren: oo na!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Tuuulllooonngg!!!
Don Juaren: antaas nun ahh... teka... sino yun?
Beggar: yun ohh! bobo...
Don Juaren: Tutulungan kita Prinsesa!
Serpyente: ppppssss.... ppsss.... di ka makakalapit ps.....
Don Juaren: Tabi! UUOOODDDD!!!
Serpyente: Ansakit mo naman magsalita!!! *tampo* *takbo*
bakla parin amp...
Don Juaren: Prinsesa... Kay tagal kong hinanap ang isang kasing ganda mo...
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Don Juaren... Kausapin mo tatay ko kung ganyan ka...
Don Juaren: Ahh.. Cge munting Prinsesa. *whisper* aray...
And the 2 went to the princess' palace. Teka... Asan na yung agila??? Ano?!?! di kaya nang budget??? amp...
Don Juaren: ang layo!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Magtiis ka... hmmpp.
Don Juaren: *whisper* aray ko po...
And they arrived...
Haring Roberto: ahhh... Ang aking Prinsesa!
Don Juaren: Ikaw ang tatay?!?!?!?
Haring Roberto: Hindi no! Babysitter ako!
Don Juaren: amp...
Haring Roberto: Ano ang ginagawa mo dito prinsipe? bat ka napaparoon sa palasyong aking binababysit?
Don Juaren: uhhhmmm... kasi... ehh... parang... uhhmm...
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Gusto nya akong ligawan!!!
Haring Roberto: Ano?!?! hindi maaari! kailangan dumaan ka sa truth or dare bago mo pakasalan ang prinsesa.
Don Juaren: Truth or dare??? di ba pwedeng di gawin yan?
Haring Roberto: Kailangan gawin to! ayon sa batas! ang batas ay batas! ang baba ay baba!
Don Juaren: Baba?
Prinsesa Maria Christina: baba?
Haring Roberto: Baba!
o.O ... san galing yun?
Don Juaren: Cge! Handa ako!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: sasamahan kita! *whisper* sarap pagtawanan to...
Haring Roberto: Mabuti! ang unang choice... Truth or dare?
Don Juaren: uhhmmm... Truth?
Haring Roberto: May crush ka ba sa kabayo nang Haring BahNay?
Don Juaren: Hindi no!!!
Haring Roberto: sigurado ka? *squeezed fingers*
Don Juaren: aray!!! awww!!!
Haring Roberto: 1,2,3
Don Juaren: Aray!!! :'
Haring Roberto: 6,7
Don Juaren: AAAAWwWWW!!! T_T
Haring Roberto: 10! Magaling...
Don Juaren: AAWWW! :((
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Wahahah!!! =))
Haring Roberto: Ikalawa... Truth or dare?
Don Juaren: Dare! Dare!
Haring Roberto: Sige!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Gawin mo... *whisper* pssss.pss.spps.pss
Haring Roberto: Magandang idea! Mag sexy dance ka sa harap nang palasyo! tapos isigaw mo Pampangan's Best!
Don Juaren: EEEEEeeee.... Ano banaman yan!!! ampf!
Haring Roberto: Gagawin mo! kundi! ikaw ay aking ipapatay!!!
Don Juaren: ANO?!?!?! Wala sa pinagusapan natin yun!
Haring Roberto: LOL!
Don Juaren: amp... sasayaw na...
Prinsesa Maria Christina: Wahahahahahahahhahahahhahahha!!! =)) ^_^ ((=
Haring Roberto: Magaling! Magaling!
Don Juaren: Tama na!!! ayoko na!!!
Haring Roberto: Hindi! Last... samahan mo ko sa mga pinto.
Don Juaren: Pinto? ano yun?
Haring Roberto: sa loob nang isa sa tatlong yan ay ang Prinsesa. sa dalawa... TAPSilog.
Don Juaren: eeewww.. :-&
Haring Roberto: think wisely... boy...
Don Juaren: pano ba to... ano bang gagawin ko para malaman to? alam ko na!!!
Haring Roberto: anong gagawin mo ngayon? ha? :p
Don Juaren: Lightsaber!!! *zing zing*
Prinsesa Maria Christina: :(( nahanap ako!!!
Don Juaren: YES! TSAMBA!
Haring Roberto: Hindi ka makakatakas! bumalik ka dito!
Don Juaren: LOL! :P
Beggar: Par! bat tumatakbo ka?
Don Juaren: hinahabol ako nung babysitter!
Prinsesa Maria Christina: k cubed m to the fifteenth power!
Beggar: Ano???
Don Juaren: Ewan... :x <3>
----------------------------
Don Juaren: Atlast! Nasa Pampangan na din!
Haring BahNay: uhhhh... Juaren! Where You Go? Why you being late?
Don Juaren: Psshhh... shad up... maglalaro muna ako nang Resident Evil 4.
And Don Juaren played and played for days... weeks...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Mahal kong Prinsipe... Mukhang Naadik na ang isa sa inyo!
Don PatPat: O nga no... WHOI JUAREN!
Don Juaren: Wag kang magulo! Isang oras palang ako!
Don PatPat: Tangengots! Naka 2 linggo ka na dyan!
Don Juaren: WWwWHHHAAATTT????
Don PatPat: oo! lowl!
Don Juaren: Nako... ang minamahal kong Prinsesa... Naiwan ko dun sa pulubi...
Don PatPat: =)) BAT MO INIWAN SA PULUBI??? =)) KURIPOT KA! DI MO NALANG HINOTEL!
Don Juaren: Nako... Patay.
Haring BahNay: uhhh.... Juaren! There is... A Empress for you.
Don Juaren: WHAT?!?!?! EMPRESS???
Empress Maria Christina: OO! EMPRESS! BAKIT HA?
Don Juaren: Mahal kong Prinsesa!
Empress Maria Christina: Wag mo kong ganyananin! Iniwan mo ko dun! =((
Don Juaren: Hindi ko napansin ang oras mahal kong emperatris.
Empress Maria Christina: ano ka! mas mahal mo pa ata yang laro mo kay sa sa sakin ehh! Walang hiya ka!
Don Juaren: Hindi ko sinasadya!!! Sarap Pumatay nang Zombie ehh!
Empress Maria Christina: Kala ko ba minahal mo ko! =(( lang hiya ka! *slap*
Don Juaren: Aruuyyy!!! Ansakit!
Empress Maria Christina: Bahala ka dyan! hmmmpp!
Beggar: Yo! wazzup Juaren!
Don Juaren: Di mo pinaalala sakin!
Beggar: di mo sinabi ehh...
Don Juaren: Lang... NAMAN OHH!!!
Beggar: travel ko nga pala?
Don Juaren: oh eto! Travel mo! Takte ka...
Beggar: Thanks par! HON! TARA! DUN NA TAYO sA MANSION KO!
Empress Maria Christina: Tara lets.
Don Juaren: HON?!?!? WHAT?!?!?
Empress Maria Christina: OO! Bakit? Tara Vader... balik na tayo sa mansyon nyo.
Beggar Darth Vader: Tara lets go Hon.
*chungchungchung*
Don Juaren: =(( Darth Vader pala yun! Amp!!!
Ibong Tocino: Don Juaren...
Don Juaren: Ibong Tocino! nandito ka ba para ibalik ang pagmamahal nang emperatris sa akin? Para tulungan ako?
Ibong Tocino: Hindi...
Don Juaren: Ehh anong ginagawa mo dito?!?!?!
Ibong Tocino: Wahahah! Sarap mong pagtawanan ehh! :P *Fly fly away*
Haring BahNay: uhhhh... Juaren! Where You Go? Why you being late?
Don Juaren: Psshhh... shad up... maglalaro muna ako nang Resident Evil 4.
And Don Juaren played and played for days... weeks...
Prinsesa Jeddaii: Mahal kong Prinsipe... Mukhang Naadik na ang isa sa inyo!
Don PatPat: O nga no... WHOI JUAREN!
Don Juaren: Wag kang magulo! Isang oras palang ako!
Don PatPat: Tangengots! Naka 2 linggo ka na dyan!
Don Juaren: WWwWHHHAAATTT????
Don PatPat: oo! lowl!
Don Juaren: Nako... ang minamahal kong Prinsesa... Naiwan ko dun sa pulubi...
Don PatPat: =)) BAT MO INIWAN SA PULUBI??? =)) KURIPOT KA! DI MO NALANG HINOTEL!
Don Juaren: Nako... Patay.
Haring BahNay: uhhh.... Juaren! There is... A Empress for you.
Don Juaren: WHAT?!?!?! EMPRESS???
Empress Maria Christina: OO! EMPRESS! BAKIT HA?
Don Juaren: Mahal kong Prinsesa!
Empress Maria Christina: Wag mo kong ganyananin! Iniwan mo ko dun! =((
Don Juaren: Hindi ko napansin ang oras mahal kong emperatris.
Empress Maria Christina: ano ka! mas mahal mo pa ata yang laro mo kay sa sa sakin ehh! Walang hiya ka!
Don Juaren: Hindi ko sinasadya!!! Sarap Pumatay nang Zombie ehh!
Empress Maria Christina: Kala ko ba minahal mo ko! =(( lang hiya ka! *slap*
Don Juaren: Aruuyyy!!! Ansakit!
Empress Maria Christina: Bahala ka dyan! hmmmpp!
Beggar: Yo! wazzup Juaren!
Don Juaren: Di mo pinaalala sakin!
Beggar: di mo sinabi ehh...
Don Juaren: Lang... NAMAN OHH!!!
Beggar: travel ko nga pala?
Don Juaren: oh eto! Travel mo! Takte ka...
Beggar: Thanks par! HON! TARA! DUN NA TAYO sA MANSION KO!
Empress Maria Christina: Tara lets.
Don Juaren: HON?!?!? WHAT?!?!?
Empress Maria Christina: OO! Bakit? Tara Vader... balik na tayo sa mansyon nyo.
Beggar Darth Vader: Tara lets go Hon.
*chungchungchung*
Don Juaren: =(( Darth Vader pala yun! Amp!!!
Ibong Tocino: Don Juaren...
Don Juaren: Ibong Tocino! nandito ka ba para ibalik ang pagmamahal nang emperatris sa akin? Para tulungan ako?
Ibong Tocino: Hindi...
Don Juaren: Ehh anong ginagawa mo dito?!?!?!
Ibong Tocino: Wahahah! Sarap mong pagtawanan ehh! :P *Fly fly away*
And thats where our story ends... Don PatPat and Prinsesa Jeddaii married and ruled Pampangan. Don Yeti, Walang ginawa, Basted padin. Don Juaren, Pinagpalit sa beggar na si Darth Vader pala, iyak nang iyak. Darth Vader and Empress Maria Christina lived happily ever after.
The end.
*YOUUUU!!!*
The end.
*YOUUUU!!!*
